Major sustaining factors of an intimate relationship

An intimate relationship will go through a lot of storms in the process of development, "the spoon will always touch the rim of the pot" and it is rarely smooth sailing. In this process, both positive and negative influences can be summarised to make the relationship go in different directions.

Maintenance factors of intimate relationships are mainly:

1. Problem-solving orientation. In a relationship conflict, or frustration, the two sides should take the problem-solving orientation rather than the other, which typically includes: facing the problem and together for reasonable evidence; each other an appropriate compromise, avoidance, accommodation; subjective willingness to understand and accept each other's feelings, rather than accusations; if any conflict shows up, they have the willingness and ability to discuss the matter, do not generalize.

2. Both parties can establish a pleasant ‘invitation’ and ‘response’ mechanism. Including all positive sharing and sharing of information, signals, etc., to show positive inteeraction like accept and echo rather than ignore and attack.

3. Positioned in the core role of friendship, appreciation, and mutual respect. Being able to seek common ground with each other, and a mindset of mutual gratitude and appreciation can become the lasting norm.

4. Understanding of each other. From a heterosexual perspective, men are willing to give each other understanding, and women are able to give men the level of understanding that can be expected.

5. Positive interpretation. maintaining a positive, optimistic view of each other and the marriage, ignoring negativity and judgment, with the positive becoming dominant.

6. Attempts at emotional repair. both partners can prevent negative emotions from escalating and then spiraling out of control in the event of arguments and conflicts through some manner such as words or actions (Gottman & Silver, 2018).